May 4th, For Izzy

[sayshazam]

Billy clutched nervously at the bouquet of flowers in his hands, shifting from one foot to the other. This seemed like a totally good idea when he was planning it but now he worried if it was too cheesy, too over the top romantic or something just for a one year anniversary for dating. You'd think after all this time Billy would be more sure about the sort of stuff that Izzy liked but nope, a part of his brain wouldn't stop worrying that he was screwing up. At least he didn't freak out anymore that Izzy was going to leave him or actually be upset. At worst she'd probably be amused and tell him it was a sweet effort.

But still, he really wanted her to like his plan. He'd put a lot of work into it but it was worth it. When you loved someone it was worth doing extra work just to make them happy. Billy had even talked to Izzy's boss to let Izzy have the day off without Izzy knowing so that he could surprise her at work that morning. Which is why he was here, in the fancy store, wearing jeans and a t-shirt holding a bunch of orchids (why couldn't she likes carnations, they lasted longer, smelled better, and were way cheaper) while waiting for his girlfriend to show up at work so he could surprise her.

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[seveninches]

Billy moves to grab his wallet before Isabelle can pay for anything, and she lets him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. She's more than happy to pay her own way, but she knows that part of this is Billy wanting to spoil her, and she's happy enough to let him.

She does borrow a bag from the girl at the counter so that she can fold up and put away their old clothes, and then she links her arm back through Billy's, the bag and her flowers in the other. He's already taken her shopping and is promising a nice restaurant, so Izzy isn't sure what else he could possibly have in mind.

"What's the stop?" she asks as they head out of the clothes store, grinning a little in anticipation. Generally speaking, Izzy isn't a huge fan of surprises, but Billy has so far managed to surprise her in all kinds of ways that she's enjoying. "What else could you possibly have up your sleeve?"

[sayshazam]

"It's a surprise, you'll have to see if you can figure out when we're there," Billy said, grinning as he fought back the urge to let her in on the secret right then. It would be more fun if she could work it out on her own since it wasn't anything special to anyone except them. Walking arm in arm he thought he did pretty good not glancing over at Izzy's outfit too much. Mostly just when he turned to talk to her his eyes... wandered and lingered. But only a bit.

It didn't take them long to get where he wanted to go. It was where they had first met, when the sight of her distracted Billy from his parkour and he totally fell off a fire escape. Izzy had been nice enough not to be too amused by the fact that her appearance had literally made him fall. He was pretty sure she would recognize the place.

[seveninches]

They don't have to walk for very long, and as they get closer it starts to click in Izzy's mind exactly where he's taking her. She spots the patch of grass in the park she remembers laying on, remembers the throbbing ache in her head and the confusion of turning up in this place. It feels like an entire lifetime ago, but she smiles when she thinks about it.

When she spots the fire escape, Isabelle gives out a small laugh, nudging Billy in the side. "Are you going to fall off another fire escape for me?" she teases, looking at him fondly. She hadn't expected him to bring her here, and she knows that to anyone else it would be a completely inconspicuous patch of grass. She remembers that day as vividly as ever, remembers how adorable she'd thought he looked after she was done pointing her knife at him.

They've come a long way, but Isabelle's never really stopped to consider it until now. She moves in front of him, stopping him walking with a hand on his chest so that she can lean in and kiss him, slow and proper. They're in public but she couldn't give a damn. "I love you," she says when she pulls back. "Even though you're terrible at parkour. Maybe because of that, actually."

[sayshazam]

Billy watched Izzy realize where they're going. She looked over at the grass and the fire escape and he knew that she remembered it too. It didn't surprise him, not really, because Izzy remembered that kind of stuff. Even though Billy had been with someone else at the time it was impossible not to remember Izzy. She was unforgettable.

"I'm pretty sure I never stopped falling for you," Billy told her with a grin. It was a totally cheesy like but he thought he should get some credit for the fact that he came up with it right on the spot. But then she was kissing him, slow and deep and he didn't care about anything else in the world. His entire world was Isabelle Lightwood and how she was kissing him, how her lips felt against his. It felt like little electric sparks moved through him when he wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her close, only pulling back and starting to walk to the restaurant again when he realized if he didn't stop kissing her then they'd never make it to the restaurant.

"I love you too. Even if you're better at me than parkour. Definitely because of that actually. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. No friends or family or magic could make me feel better than being with you does. I just wanted to say.... hold on," Billy told her. One of his shoelaces had come untied, probably because he thought he'd be taking his shoes off constantly and trying on lots of outfits so he didn't really tie them tight. Stopping, Billy got down on one knee so that he could get it tied and wouldn't fall on his face while walking.

[seveninches]

It's totally a line, but she laughs at it anyway. Billy has a way of saying completely cheesy things and still sounding entirely genuine, which she doesn't think she's ever heard anybody else be able to pull off. Isabelle moves into his arms easily when he tugs her closer, sliding a hand up his chest as he kisses her back. It would be easy to just stay here like this for the rest of the night, but eventually he pulls back and keeps walking, and Isabelle follows, trying not to be too put out.

She's definitely better at parkour than him, but she thinks that's what comes with a lifetime of training, so she can't really hold it against him. He's being ridiculously sweet and Isabelle doesn't really know what to do with all of the things he's saying, but then he gets down on one knee and she feels her stomach twist into knots. Oh, no. She loves him, really she does, and Alec is getting married so maybe there's just too much wedding in the air, but this is not how she wanted this night to go. Isabelle doesn't even know if she ever wants to get married at all, and it's going to make things really awkward in a moment.

"Billy, no," she says firmly, shaking her head and reaching out to try and pull him back up. "I love you, I do, but this is not--" She's not sure how she's supposed to say I don't want to marry you without sounding horrible, so she trails off instead, the look on her face about as panicked as Isabelle ever gets.

[sayshazam]

Billy's head was suddenly spinning. It wasn't like he hadn't said any of that stuff to her before. Maybe not all at once or in a setting like this but she knew how much she meant to him, right? And he totally got that he probably wasn't doing this "love" thing right. Isabelle had other people that she also loved. She had family an close friends that she loved and Billy didn't.

Izzy was the first and only person Billy could ever remember loving so she kind of got the brunt of his affection. So he knew sometimes he probably said stuff that she couldn't say back, like how he loved her more than anyone else. Billy never expected her to say stuff like that but he didn't think she had a problem with her saying that or just him rambling on about his feelings for her.

He was pretty sure he was going to throw up though, hearing her say those words. "Billy no." "I love you, but..." For a moment he felt dizzy and thought he was going to pass out. He tried to stand up but his body just wouldn't move.

"Izzy... Izzy what are you saying?"

[seveninches]

His face falls and he looks for a moment like he's been crushed underneath one of her heels. All of a sudden she feels like the worst person in the world, but this really isn't how she expected this to go. There are probably a thousand better ways to handle it, plenty of girls who would be over the moon if this happened on their anniversary, but Isabelle isn't one of them.

"Just--" she makes an impatient gesture for him to stand up, desperate for him to get off his knee. At least then she can look him in the eye while she tries to explain. "I'm not exactly wife material, Billy," she says after a moment, frowning. She's a Shadowhunter and that's always going to come first. She thinks he understands that, even, so maybe that's not an obstacle the same way she sees it. Or maybe she's got this completely wrong, but now that she's started she feels like she has to see it through to make sure they're on the same page.

"This is all really sweet and I'm sure if I was anybody else this would be perfect, but it's just not me." Not now, anyway. She doesn't want to say she's ruling it out for all eternity, but it's not something she ever really saw on the cards.

[sayshazam]

It was almost hard to hear her through the ringing in his ears. He didn't even know it was possible to have your ears ring like that without being punched in the head or something. The was emotionally the same as being punched in the head though. Billy would rather Izzy had punch him in the head.

What did she even mean about wife material? Billy definitely couldn't ever see him wanting anyone else than Izzy, it wasn't like he was in this just for a temporary thing, but he'd never said anything about it. He figured it was implied that he wanted to be with her. Where had she gotten all this marriage talk from? She was definitely spending way, way too much time with Alec and Magnus and all their talking about weddings. It wasn't like he was going to get down on one knee anytime soon and-

Oh. Oh.

"Izzy, I'm just tying my shoe!" he said, gesturing down at the shoe that he was kneeling down to tie, showing her the laces were undone. "I'm not proposing! Holy crap, I'm only 18! I'm just trying to not fall on my face!"

[seveninches]

"Oh, thank the Angel," she breathes out, half laughing in relief. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the night they've been having by making things awful. She looks at his undone shoelace, and she'd feel a little embarrassed if not for the fact that Isabelle refuses to be embarrassed about anything.

This will be something that Alec teases her about mercilessly if she tells him. She's pretty sure that once Billy gets over the shock of it he's probably going to make fun of her too, but she doesn't mind that much. She lets him tie his shoelace, and then she tugs him back to his feet again.

"Okay, good," she says, kissing him quickly again. "Not falling on your face is good too, but maybe give a girl a warning before you get down on one knee." She raises an eyebrow at him, a bemused smile on her lips. "On one knee on our anniversary, where we first met." She's pretty sure she's not the only one who would have jumped to that kind of conclusion, given when and where they are.

[sayshazam]

"No way, you totally freaked out and it was amazing. I'm going to start proposing all the time now. If you're going to completely reject my not-proposal I'm going to make sure I get a lot of fun out of this," Billy said, grinning at her. He figured that the best way he could deal with the whole thing to treat it like it was hilarious. It was hilarious, no doubt about it, but some of the stuff she had said bothered him a little. Yeah, it would have been stupid for them to get engaged right now but it still sucked to hear she didn't want to. Feelings totally didn't have to make sense.

"Also, we definitely need to revisit 'not wife material' at some point. But it doesn't have to be right now."