Friday, late-night waffles with Steph

[sayshazam]

"We should come here in the morning sometime," Billy said, taking another bite of waffles and choking it down. Normally late night waffles with Steph were delicious but right now his stomach was so nervous and twisted up he thought he might throw up. Still, he had paid for the waffles and a part of him still refused to pay for food and not eat it.

"See if the waffles are still this good when we don't have to walk through the bad part of town late at night for them."

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[sayshazam]

"But you're worth it!" Billy said, blurting it out before he could even really think about it. "You're smart and funny and brave. You're- you're so fun to be around and I- I've never felt- I've never met anyone I thought was special enough to ask because... the idea of even holding hands with someone kind of freaks me out... except when I think about it with you."

And there it was. He was a giant, stupid mess. Physical contact freaked him out unless it was fighting someone. Sometimes he was sure he'd rather get punched in the face than hugged and he just blurted all that out to Steph. There was no way she was going to agree now and it looked like the idea of it was making her cry. Damn it.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he said, standing up and pulling out a wad of money to leave on the table. "I shouldn't have asked you, I'm sorry to upset you. Friday night after the zoo closes ask for Frank at the gate. He'll let you in to help bottle feed the baby bats. I'm sorry."

With that, Billy walked quickly out of the diner so that no one would see he was so angry at himself he was about to cry.

[thefourthone]

"No, Billy, wait." She scrambles out of the diner after him, causing enough commotion that the rest of the diners look up after them. "Wait!"

Now she really does start to cry, which is stupid and awful because she hates crying in front of anyone. She's guilty and hates herself for making Billy look so upset, for ruining something good just like always. When he'd gone and said about the nicest things she's ever heard, even if Tim liked her so much he'd never said it out loud.

"I'm sorry," she calls louder to him. "I want to go feed the baby bats. With you, I want to go. I really like you. I'm sorry. I'm all screwed up."

[sayshazam]

"You don't- you don't have to go with me, it's fine," he said, stopping where he was. He still didn't face her though because his stupid eyes were watering and he didn't want to seem like a huge wimp in front of her. Billy also didn't want her to go with him just because he was upset, he'd rather she just go by herself if that was the case, as nice as the offer was.

"I shouldn't have run out either, that's shitty. I- I'll pay for a cab or something if you don't want to walk back with me."

[thefourthone]

"I want to. No one else would get it." Even if Cass went, it wouldn't be the same. She'd go 'hn' and hold them carefully instead of the baby bat cuddlefest Steph would want to turn it into.

Would there really be so big a difference, if they went to the zoo and friends and then went to the zoo and called it a date? She felt stupid for freaking out and even worse for making Billy upset.

She wipes at her eyes and tries to stop sniffling like the weepy crazy person she's become. "Look- I'm sorry I freaked out. Can we just pretend it didn't happen? I'm just- got a lot going on. But that have to impact our...thing here."

[sayshazam]

"We can just go as friends if that would be better," he said. As much as he was glad that she wanted to go with him (even if it was just because only he would 'get it'?) if doing it as a date would be too weird for her they could just go as friends. He'd gone about this in the completely wrong way apparently and just wanted to salvage whatever he could so that she wouldn't be upset. Seeing someone you cared about so upset was the worst.

"I just- I just want whatever will make you happiest."

[thefourthone]

Whatever would make her happiest. Steph so wishes she had a clue what that is.

"No, let's do it." Saying it feels brave and stupid all at once. God, she really is a mess, and she almost warns Billy off all over again. But Steph shoves that feeling down with a nod. "Let's just try it. As a date. And just...see how it goes?"

[sayshazam]

"Alright, but if it feels weird or something, promise me you'll say something?" Billy said, already feeling better about this whole thing. It could have definitely gone better and he still wasn't entirely sure if she genuinely wanted to go or was being nice but he figured he had to trust she was telling the truth.

"I'd rather have a date go bad and admit it and just stick with friends than trying to force something."

[thefourthone]

"Definitely," she says with a nod and gives her eyes a final before shaking her head and taking a deep breath. "Sorry. Again." Steph doesn't know how many times she's said it already. "I ruined our waffles."

[sayshazam]

"Are you kidding? My stomach was so upset because of how nervous I was I think I was going to puke," Billy said with a laugh, holding his stomach as just the memory of it causes it to churn.

"I think you just saved me from puking in the bathroom."

[thefourthone]

She manages a little laugh as she pushes a hand through her hair, pretty sure she looks like a red-eyed mess at the moment. So much for all that 'hot' talk. "Well, glad I could help. Since I don't think you can go back once you've puked there."

[sayshazam]

"And my teenage outburst of angst isn't going to get us banned for life?" he asked. Because now that it was over it seemed really, really stupid and something that could have totally been dealt with by talking calmly and not freaking out. So much for being super mature.

[thefourthone]

"Uh, pretty sure I was the one who burst into tears," Steph says with an embarrassed little laugh. She hates crying in front of other people and now feels like a big idiot. Too late to fix that now. "Sorry for acting like a crazy person."

[sayshazam]

"You weren't that crazy," Billy said, unable to hide a grin. They had both been kind of ridiculous but hopefully they were better now. Well, maybe not all the way better but not quite the mess they had been a moment ago.

"And I still really, really want to go on a date with you so neither of us blew it, right?"